Millie Grace Palmer

The last time I blogged, it seems, was when our Sadie was born two years ago.  Obviously I'm not good at keeping our poor blog going, ha! However, since I have a poor memory and don't want to forget the births of our children in all the details, here we go with Millie's birth story. It may be that I'm the only one who will ever read this, and that's ok, but if you're interested in a good birth story, here ya go ;)

As trend would have it, Miss Millie was a solid five days "late" (but what is a due date anyway!?), following in her sisters' footsteps.  It was Thursday late afternoon and after attending Elise's school's Greek Olympics (a field day of sorts), Jas and I set off to the doctor for a 40 weeks plus visit.  They were going to do a non-stress test and an ultrasound to make sure all looked well with baby.  All seemed fine with baby girl and for that we were grateful.  I must say, however, I was SO ready for her to come.  By forty plus weeks it seems like the baby will never, ever make its grand debut, though obviously they do.  I digress.

We headed home and I was DETERMINED to get this girl out.  I had been walking for weeks to no avail, so wasn't very optimistic that the walk I took that evening with my sweet friend was going to do any good.  We started our walk around 7 pm and all during our walk I was feeling crampy and uncomfortable, but wasn't optimistic since I'd been feeling that some on and off for weeks. I kept kind of "dancing" and "bobbing" up and down as we walked so I should have figured this meant something, haha!

I came in from the walk and decided to shower and get ready for the evening.  I knew I was having some contractions, but again, just thought they were more Braxton Hicks.  Eventually, around 9 or 10 pm I did decide to time the contractions, but they were very inconsistent and not in the slightest bit regular.  I climbed in bed, tired, very ready to meet our girl, and tried to get some sleep.  Contractions were still coming but they were nine, ten, twelve, fifteen, seven, five, eleven minutes apart...just like that.  Not even going to lie, I was frustrated.  Come on, body, baby, let's do this!

Around 3 am, I got up and was in enough pain that I decided ok, maybe this actually IS something.  I went to the bathroom, took a shower, and woke Jas up in the process.  I tried to lay back down all the while encouraging Jas to attempt sleeping again (haha!).  This didn't work, neither of us could sleep, and each time a contraction would come I was definitely feeling the pain. I still was in denial though and kept telling J this wasn't it and they would probably just send us home from the hospital if we went in then.  He wasn't having it and called the midwife anyway.  The midwife asked what number baby this was and when J replied "four," she said "come on in...now!"  In my mind, however, I was just convinced they weren't going to keep us, thinking surely I wasn't more than four cm dilated as I had been for weeks.

We made our way to the car, and contractions were coming, but STILL very inconsistently.  This would end up being the theme for Millie's delivery.  We arrived at the hospital and Jas parked the car (aren't you supposed to drop your pregnant wife off at the emergency entrance!?) and we walked (very slowly) to the door. They were expecting us and I was offered a wheel chair.  For some strange reason I declined the wheel chair saying I would just walk it (in my mind still thinking we wouldn't be staying...crazy, I know).  It ended up being a longer walk than anticipated, down a hall, turn, down another hall, up an elevator, down another hall...yeesh! I wasn't prepared for that!  I had to stop several times and was a ball of emotion by this point, ha!

We made it to labor and delivery and a nurse walked us into an L&D room.  I was thinking we would be in a triage room so this threw me for a loop.  They started to put in my IV and get some blood and I just kept asking "are we staying?" The nurse looked at me like I was crazy.  She very confidently assured me that at this point we were staying (even before she knew how dilated I was).  When they did finally check I was 8, almost 9 cm! I could NOT believe it.  I was shocked.  It's pretty cool how the body works.

I labored, still very inconsistently, for another couple of hours.  This was so unlike any other delivery in that I had reached almost 9 cm and it wasn't progressing quickly as expected from past deliveries.  I even laughed and joked and talked about Call the Midwives (my favorite tv show) with the midwife and L&D nurse.  Contractions were coming but many minutes apart even still.  Eventually, a couple hours in, midwife Amy asked if I'd like my water to be broken.  I was definitely hesitant, but at this point in the game nothing seemed to be progressing, so after much talk and many questions, I consented. 

Then things started to pick up.  Contractions became stronger, somewhat closer together, but definitely stronger.  When they came they were INTENSE and since I had been given nothing to take the edge off, I was feeling them BIG.  Baby Millie was making her way down, however, part of my cervix wouldn't move so things weren't going very fast.  This was frustrating because I was having very intense contractions but it seemed to last forever and ever.  I had to do some pre-pushing (that's what I'm going to call it) to get things moving.  Over an hour, lots of pain, and many, many tears later, Millie Grace came crying into the world.  They laid her on my shaking body and I was overwhelmed yet again at God's goodness and grace.  She was a perfect gift and worth every ounce of pain.  What's more, in God's ultimate plan, she was born exactly 10 years to the date of Jason asking me to be his girlfriend.  Pretty neat. October 27th, I like you :)

Millie Grace Palmer.  October 27 2017.  11:17 am.  A whopping 9 lbs 12 oz.  22 inches long. 

I still can't believe it.  Thank you, Lord, for your good and perfect gift.

Sadie JOY: Her Birth Story

Oh man, oh man, this girl...she lives up to her name already.  A true joy, she is. 

(Warning:  this is long and if reading isn't your jam, feel free to skip to the pics at the end of the post...she's super cute, after all ;)

This is the story of her birth.  Appropriate for the blog because I want to have all the kids' birth stories in one place, and although I haven't blogged in forever, it must be documented here ;)

Soooo, all our kids have been notoriously "late." (But really, what is a due date anyway!?  They mean nothing to us, haha).  Elise came at 40 weeks + 6 days, Nora came at 41 weeks + 1 day, and sweet Sadie came at 40 weeks + 5 days. 

The week leading up to Sadie's birth, I felt hardly anything.  Some Braxton Hicks here and there, but nothing that convinced me she was on her way.  Then on Thursday, things started picking up, albeit just a little bit.  By Friday I was hoping and thinking that maybe, just maybe, she'd come before the following Tuesday when I had two scheduled appointments with the midwife.  All day Friday was spent walking and walking and walking.  I. was. exhausted.  And ready to have a baby.

By Friday evening I was fairly certain contractions had started, though they were a good 17 to 19 minutes apart and quite manageable.  Having been induced twice before, it was all a big question to me whether or not this was the real thing. So I went to bed like normal, and slept decently until around 3 am Saturday morning.  By that point I was having contractions every 7 to 9 minutes, but it still wasn't very consistent.  There even seemed to be a couple 12 minute intervals in there, so I was thoroughly confused.  I got a shower and Jas woke up.  He got out of bed, showered, and started scrambling thinking it was, indeed, the real thing.  I wasn't convinced still, but turns out he was correct.  At 5 am I decided it was time to call the midwife.  I did so and her advice was "just be sure it's real labor and come on in." (What!? That's so not helpful right now, haha!? That's what I was thinking...). We called Jason's parents anyway and they headed over to watch the bigs.  

When they arrived my contractions were a (fairly consistent) 7 to 8 minutes apart, so we decided to go on in anyway (I needed to get an antibiotic during labor and since my two previous labors weren't terribly long I had been told to come in when contractions were around 7 minutes apart).  We jumped in the car and I had contractions on the way there, but they still were varying some, so I wasn't sure they would keep me at the hospital.  We pulled into the parking lot and I told Jas "let's just wait a little bit before we go in..."  Haha, I was crazy and disillusioned, I guess ;) 

We waited another 10 minutes or so, then decided it was worth it to go in anyway, whether or not they would send me home.  We checked in and I immediately threw up (which I've done every time in labor, so at this point I was starting to think things were progressing enough that they MAY keep me). 

They wheeled me up to labor and delivery and I confessed my concerns at being sent home.  A little wait and a check by the midwife later, it turns out I was actually 5 to 6 cm and I wasn't going anywhere until we had a baby!  All that was much to my relief.  

At this point I was getting all hooked up to monitors and IVs (this took three times to get in my vein and was possibly as painful as the contractions, ha!).  Contractions were definitely picking up and I was in some legit pain.  Jas was a great help and support and I would lean on him, sway, breath intentionally, all that good stuff with his encouragement (I opted for a pain medication-free birth, so was just trying to make it through!).  

I did request a relaxant at around 8 cms when I was starting to lose all my senses, but it turns out they forgot to order it until I was around 9 cms (!!??!??!!).  They gave me the relaxant, which lasted all of 20 minutes and doesn't help contractions much at all (just mainly makes you drowsy in between contractions), and then it was time to push.

Push I did (and I'll spare the nitty gritty here, most people know how this goes down ;) and our sweet Sadie Joy was born at 10:31 am on Saturday, August 22, 2015.  She weighed a whopping 9 lbs 2 oz!  I cried and J cried as she was placed on my chest for sweet snuggling post-birth.  All in all labor was about 16 hours long, active labor being about 4 hours long.  

We experienced the loss of two babies prior to getting pregnant with Sadie, so the gift of her life (and life in general) is not lost on us.  We were and are so thankful for her life (and for the lives of her sisters).  She's a great blessing to our family and we pray everyday she will radiate HIS joy in her life!  We love you, sweet Sadie girl.

Some Thoughts on Mothering

Some days I feel like I'm going non-stop from morning to night.  Sustained literally by the grace of God (because let's face it, He's enough anyway, and I'm not drinking coffee currently AND I'm tired from growing this little life!).  

And a lot of days that running around from morning to night looks like this:  Wake up, pray, get out of bed (somewhat begrudgingly), get breakfast for the littles, fix myself something, start some laundry, wash any leftover dishes, eventually get us all dressed, pick up toys/break up sister disagreements as I go, get myself ready, head out the door if we're going somewhere (after continually urging everyone to find shoes), nap, make dinner while getting the babes to do an activity, encourage cleaning up for Daddy's arrival, get dinner on the table, clean up dinner aftermath, play a little/look up recipes while Daddy plays, get baths, bedtime routine, and then catch up with my man before conking out.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

And honestly, somedays it's hard to feel like I have purpose in it all.  It's hard to remember that this IS worth it.  That this IS something.  That I'm making a difference.  Many a good post have been written on this motherhood journey and its validity, and I'm not attempting to be one of those...just simply agreeing.  It's grueling work.  Tiring and not always rewarding.

But, it's about the little moments.

Today I was struggling with all this (thus the post, obviously) and feeling like all I had been doing all day was correcting, promoting sharing, talking about behavior, and disciplining.  I was exhausted by lunchtime.  Maybe even shed a tear or two to the hubs on the phone (who is very busy at work currently, and bless him, he was still patient).  As a side note, I'm sure pregnancy hormones don't help anything, haha.

So we changed paces and went to the playground.  Took lunch.  Ate.  They got on the swings.  I tried to breathe :)

Then we came home and took much-needed naps.

Naptime ended and we played outside again.  And Elise, all on her own, picked a little bouquet of purple flowers just for Mommy.  "Here Mommy, these are for you!" And just like that, the craziness of the day, the frustration, the weariness, faded away.  And I was (mostly) refreshed.  I was grateful to be her Mommy in that moment.

Somehow she still loves me.  The tired me.  The Mommy who needs grace after grace.  The one who gets aggravated and isn't always loving.  She picks flowers for me.  She loves me.

(and I think her sissy does too ;)

It's a pretty sweet deal this mothering thing.  It's a challenging, heart-wrenching, soul-finding deal...but it's sweet.  And I'm glad to be theirs.

(And some photos from this evening outside...Daddy came home and we were all happy :)

(As a final note, I realize mothering doesn't look the same for everyone...this was just my day, and in my way, I'm sharing the thoughts from that day here :)

Life + Baby Palmer No. 3!

Well hello there, ole blog...we used to be good buddies, right?  Pardon me while I dust things off...it's been awhile! 

Man how life happens.  Seasons change.  Babies grow (Elise is 3.5 and Nora will soon be 2!).  New babies form.

(In case you missed that announcement....)

And that's what life has thrown at me as of the past few months.

You see, I'm not one of these gloriously glowing pregnant women...nope, not me, not at all.  I'm a sickly pregnant woman.  At least for the large majority of the first part of pregnancy.  And that's what I've been as of late (er, the past couple months)...sick.  Like the kind of sick that has kept me in the house and by the toilet.  See, I told ya, glorious.  It hasn't been pleasant, but at the same time I've been (oddly) grateful for the sickness because for me it's been a sign of reassurance. 

As crazy as that sounds, this pregnancy has been such an emotional roller coaster.  I won't go into it too much here (ask me in person!), but heaven gained two precious ones prior to this pregnancy and it has put my senses on hyperdrive this time around.  Ridiculous.  Scary.  Fear-filled moments.  Every little sign/symptom/change has caused me to analyze "Is this baby ok?"  "What's happening?"  I can unfortunately admit I've allowed myself to be robbed of some joy this go, and that saddens me.  It's been...intense.

But we're getting there.  This little one and I.  And as I can see the light of day (aka slowly feeling like a normal human again), I am striving (trying) to rejoice in this little life in me and praise the One who created it.  No matter what happens.

And that's been the challenge...trusting Him fully and surrendering my wants/needs/desires.  Obeying.  It's a journey.

Bringing us to now...I'm 16 weeks! (and already in maternity clothes yeesh!)

New and exciting things:

Feeling baby move for the first couple of times (15 weeks 5 days, and Jas felt it too...albeit briefly)

Starting to find food slowly more appealing

Less nausea/throwing up

Anxious to learn what it will be (boy/girl! excited! in a few weeks!)

So in summation, we are excited, thankful, and hopeful for this little one's life.  We're grateful for the opportunity to be parents again and look forward to seeing who this little person will become! Thanks for joining us in prayer for his/her life...it means a lot to us!  Truly.

Nora Rose: 18 Months!

Our Nora Rose will be eighteen months old in a few days, and it seems a while since I've blogged about her growing up-ness.  Goodness how time just goes on and on.

First how about some of what she's up to at the ripe age of a year and a half :)

Sleep:  

Naps, generally, once a day after lunch, but will occasionally still take that morning nap.  Poor babes is usually on the go with us in the mornings, so that one can be hit or miss.

Eat:  

Eats all. day. long.  Snacks, rather.  Is not a big "meal" eater.  She does have her opinions on what she likes, which has been the source of a tiny toddler throw down or two.  She loves, loves, pretzels, gummies, most fruit, and bagels.  

Play:  

Is big into babies these days!  So cute.  Really likes dance parties.  Will generally play whatever sissy is playing.  She's really good at making a mess, too ;)

Random:  

Makes all sorts of faces.

Loves to sing "Let it Go," from Frozen.

Still pinches Mama's (and other's) arms for comfort...?? haha.

Loves and has to sleep with her Alex (Monk Monk).

Tells me when she needs her diaper changed.

Is a big, big fan of snuggling.

Likes to "read' books, but her attention span is nearly nonexistent ;)

(I'm guessing you can tell from those photos that girlfriend has a lot of personality packed into a tiny little body ;)

Love this sweet little lady!