October has been full. Busy, good, tough, and full. This post may sound like all I'm doing is complaining, and maybe that's just what it is, but it's high time to get it off my chest. So here goes.
Adjusting to life with a baby is no joke. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more thankful for the lil thing. She's a blessing, undoubtedly. But there's no how-to manual for babies. It's a HUGE learning curve. And sleepless nights just make for tiredness during the day, too...whew.
Post-birth healing is no piece of cake either. Episiotomies, nursing, then developing an abscess. Wow, overwhelming. Painful. Trying to heal. And with all that comes the in general feeling of not being able to get it all done (in ministry, with family, around the house and so on). On a side note, how do families of multiples do it!?! Maybe we'll know one day...
Speaking of learning curves and learning, I feel like my Slovak skills have plummeted. I've still been plowing at it in between feedings and diaper changes, but I haven't been able to speak like I want to and just feel like my vocab and grammar have begun to slide. Ugh. One day I will get this language (genuine determination right there, folks).
All that adds up to cranky husband and wife. My husband has a fine sense of humor (and it's one of the things I love most about him), but he also has a particular way of applying humor when he's stressed that just plain irritates me. Yep, I said it. And trust me, it's not just him. That's not what I'm saying. I come back at him with snide remarks and ugliness too. Makes for unpleasant conversations. But this too shall pass and we are learning more and more how to work through stress together (slowly but surely).
So how's that for bearing it all today? Just putting it all out there. We're real and really sinful over here in Slovakia...bet ya couldn't have guessed that, huh? ;) However, I did receive an encouraging note from a friend today reminding me of this verse:
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:2-4 ESV
God knows our trials. And my trials compared to many other's trials are nothing. I have SO very much to be thankful for. SO much. Now just to remember this in times of trial.
And speaking of things to be thankful for...we were able to spend some time with family (altogether close to a whole month, actually) who came all the way over here to see us.
Because no blog post is complete without pictures...
If you read through all that...consider yourself a champ! Thanks for letting me get it all out on this here little blog :)
Whew...thanks for being human!!! And yes, I read every word. You are a new mommy, and daddy, and no one said it would be easy. So, how do you eat an elephant? ONE bite at a time. Remember to in-hale...ex-hale..and when you feel overwhelmed, quickly list 10 PRAISES. You all are in our prayers! Love from the Cline's!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Charity! I've heard people say that first month is just surviving! like you said this too shall pass, you'll get the hang of it! saying a prayer for you friend!
ReplyDeleteOh sweet girl! I wish I could hug you right now! I can tell you in all honesty the most difficult adjustment in my life was not the birth of twins....not the birth of my fifth....but without a question the birth of my first. Such an enormous life change. I'll will pray for ya'll. It seems so never ending. It is ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTING. You will sleep again and when you have number 2....it will be a breeze compared to this. Rest. Take it easy. Let your Slovak and cleaning and everything else slide. You need to heal, adjust, rest. Love on your sweet family and go easy on yourself. Sleep whenever you can and don't feel guilty at all. I love you!
ReplyDeleteI remember those days and am glad I'm not reliving them! I didn't feel the same way after the second and third came along. I was still exhausted emotionally and physically, but it at least felt normal. Then again, since each baby is different you'll always have that learning curve! I also remember everyone telling me "Enjoy her while she's an infant. This stage will pass so quickly!" and "Don't worry about the house. You'll get to it eventually!" Those things always left me feeling so frustrated every time I heard them. I think the biggest thing I learned in those first days of mommyhood was how gracious and good God is to give me what I needed minute by minute and forgive me for all of the times I failed as a wife and mommy because of my attitude. He is good. He is faithful. He chose you to be that precious little baby's mommy. He chose your husband to be your perfect helpmate. Those are the promises I clung to and I hope they are ones you can hang on to as well!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty...I know it is hard to put yourself out there! I am just now (at the 11 week mark with Zoe!) feeling like I am finally moving out of the just surviving mode. And this is #4 for me! So, please know that you are not alone. It will get easier, I promise. I remember my first few months with Ella and while it was wonderful, it was just so incredibly overwhelming and tiring. Be patient with yourself and know that we are praying for you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the sharing! I can't imagine having to learn this new culture and language AND take care of a new baby too! It sounds to me like you are doing great. Lifting you up!
ReplyDeleteThere's a reason we only had one!
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